Flirty Thirty: "The Diary" Part One

I have had so many people ask me why I am obsessed with Taylor Swift's album 'Red'. To put it eloquently, it is basically the diary of my dating life the last 8 months. 'Red' is a collection of songs that describe all of the different types of love and connections that I am sure every girl experiences while trying to find "the one". 

Taylor says it best in the prologue on her CD Jacket:

"They are the moments you saw sparks that weren't really there, felt stars aligning without having any proof, saw your future before it happened, and then saw it slip away without any warning. These are moments of new-found hope, extreme joy, intense passion, wishful thinking, and in some cases, the unthinkable letdown. And in my mind, every one of these memories looks the same to me. I see all of these moments in bright, burning, red."

I mentioned in my last Flirty Thirty post that I was never much of a dater. So the experiences that I have had on this adventure, to date as much as possible, has been similar to Taylor's (yes, she is 22 years old and I am 30. I get it) experiences. In a lot of ways I felt like I started over. I felt like a young girl again. I had a lot to learn about myself, men, the game, communication and ultimately rejection. I am a major music lover and I use music to help me heal. So hearing this album when I did, going through these types of 'relationships' helped me grow and eventually move on. So I am going to share my most favorite and listened to songs. I am going to talk about the lines that spoke to me the most and even talk about some of the men. I will use pseudo names for obvious reasons. :)

Part One

Song: We are Never Ever Getting Back Together

Favorite line(s):
"I used to think that we were forever ever
And I used to say, "Never say never..."

"Uggg... so he calls me up and he's like, "I still love you,"
And I'm like... "I just... I mean this is exhausting, you know, like,
We are never getting back together. Like, ever"

Who it reminds me of: The Ex of 6 years. Obvi.

How I related: I won't say too much on this subject because you never know who is actually reading these posts. We have been broken up for almost a year and a half. I get asked all of the time if I have regrets or wish that things could be different. Honestly, I will always care about him as a person but I know that there is no place for him in my future. Like, EVER! ;)

Song: I Knew You Were Trouble

Favorite line(s):
"I knew you were trouble when you walked in, So shame on me now"

"Now I heard you moved on from whispers on the street, A new notch in your belt is all I'll ever be"

Who it reminds me of: Mr. Too Hot

How I related: The moment I met Mr. Too Hot I knew I was in trouble. In so many ways he was everything I needed and wanted at the time, yet he was the "classic" guy that I had always been attracted to that broke my heart. We talked for a few weeks before meeting. My initial reaction was that he was WAY hotter than his pics. I was flustered. That never happens to me. I left our first date thinking that it was a good date yet I had NO clue what he really thought about me. Until I got a text 20 minutes later asking me out again. We met the day after my niece was born so I was really busy and couldn't commit to a date right away. I think that intrigued him because he blew up my phone. We texted all day long, every day for a week. Second date happened. There were sparks. It was hot and heavy. Then I left for Mexico. Did I mention he had a kid? Well this is where things got complicated. Busy schedules on both ends. Trying to work around his time with his kid. We still talked all of the time. For two months. Then it dwindled. Never saw him again. Many lessons learned while dating him. 

Song: Everything Has Changed

Favorite line(s):
"And all I've seen since eighteen hours ago
Is green eyes and freckles and your smile
In the back of my mind making me feel like
I just wanna know you better know you better know you better now"

"Come back and tell me why
I'm feeling like I've missed you all this time, oh, oh, oh
And meet me there tonight
And let me know that it's not all in my mind"

"All I know is we said "Hello"
So dust off your highest hopes
All I know is pouring rain and everything has changed
All I know is the new found grace
All my days I know your face
All I know since yesterday is everything has changed "

Who it reminds me of: Mr. Not Over His Ex

How I related: Oh man... Mr. Not Over His Ex is the one guy that I am still bummed that I didn't really get to know. I wish that we had met at a different time because I think that things would be so different today. I am still looking to meet a guy with his personality, sarcasm, wit and gentleness. He was the first guy that I really connected with emotionally and that could call me out on my shit from the get go. Our first and only date was 6 hours. Unfortunately I was his first date after his break up and he wasn't ready for a relationship like I was. From the first hello I wanted to know everything about him. Plus his green eyes and freckles were darling. Meeting him really put into perspective the type of guy I was looking to find. He gave me hope that there is a guy out there for me.

Song: State of Grace

Favorite line(s):
"And all we know, is touch and go
We are alone with our changing minds
We fall in love 'til it hurts or bleeds or fades in time"

"So you were never a saint
And I’ve loved in shades of wrong
We learn to live with the pain
Mosaic broken hearts"

"Love is a ruthless game
Unless you play it good and right"

Who it reminds me of: Dating in General

How I related: It is inevitable that you are going to date a lot of guys along the way to finding "the one". Sometimes you date once, other times it lasts longer than it really should. Many times it is quick, hot and heavy and intense. Or it can be fun, light hearted and easy. Whatever the situation, unless you end up with a ring, it isn't right. After all, Dating really is a game.

Song: Treacherous

Favorite line(s):
"And I'll do anything you say
If you say it with your hands
And I'd be smart to walk away, but you're quicksand"

"I can't decide if it's a choice
Getting swept away
I hear the sound of my own voice
Asking you to stay"

Who it reminds me of: Dating in General

How I related: You know that moment, that minute in time where you realize that you can see yourself with that person? That is what this song is all about. The deep fall. Falling in Love. Trying to figure out if this is true chemistry not just something physical. I always question if I am falling because it is inevitable or because I am choosing to open my heart. It is a fine line. 

So I just listed five of the sixteen songs on the main album, there are also three additional songs on the bonus CD that I like but didn't seriously connect to. I have five more songs that I will be sharing in Part 2. I don't think I have ever related to an album so much. I hope this gives you a better insight to my slight obsession and to what dating has been like for me the past eight months. I dated quite a few more guys (six) before and during my time with Mr. Too Hot but they clearly were not any love connections. I dated two other guys after Mr. Too Hot and before Mr. Not Over His Ex. So if you are keeping track that is ten guys is six months. Can you say maneater? Haha. 

Then I met Mr. Geograpically Undesirable.

You can read about him in Part Two.
Be on the look out!



If you want to catch up on past Flirty Thirty posts and/or read why I decided to write about this subject, you can.
 Just Click Here

With any series or post that I write I hope that you get at least one thing from it. I want this series to be a platform that helps us grow and learn from one another, so share any thoughts or feelings that you have! Comment, Tweet or Email me. I love hearing from you!