Flirty Thirty: "The Diary" Part Two

 I am on a Flirty Thirty roll! Three posts in less than two weeks.

I shared about a couple guys of the many that I have dated recently in "The Diary" Part One. In this post I talk specifically about one guy. My most recent relationship. It may be a little too soon to be talking about so openly but it is where my head has been. I think it has shown in my writing, Instagram pics, work outs and even my outfit posts. It is real, it is raw and we have all been there! 

Obviously this is Johnny and not Taylor BUT I posted this pic on Instagram after my first date with Mr. Geographically Undesirable. It still touches me months later. I thought it was appropriate for this post.

Song: Begin Again

Favorite line(s):
"I've been spending the last eight months
Thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end
But on a Wednesday in a cafe I watched it begin again"

"And for the first time what's past is past"

Who it reminds me of: Mr. Geographically Undesirable

How I related: The first few times I heard this song I thought it was sweet. Then I met Mr. Geographically Undesirable, after talking to him pretty much 3-4x a week for 3 months, and knew that this song described us perfectly. We met at a Starbucks in the middle of the California desert, on a Wednesday evening, and honestly I knew after meeting him that something was blossoming. Immediately. In fact, something had been growing between us and I never realized it because I had written him off as a love interest because of where he lived. He was everything that I didn't know I was looking for. Everything in my past seemed to just fade after meeting him. 

Song: All Too Well

Favorite line(s):
"And I know it's long gone
And that magic's not here no more
And I might be okay
But I'm not fine at all"

"And I know it's long gone
And there was nothing else I could do
And I forget about you long enough
To forget why I needed to"

"Maybe we got lost in translation, maybe I asked for too much
And maybe this thing was a masterpiece 'til you tore it all up
Running scared, I was there, I remember it all too well"

"And you call me up again just to break me like a promise
So casually cruel in the name of being honest"

"Cause there we are again, when I loved you so
Back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known
It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well"

Who it reminds me of: Mr. Geographically Undesirable

How I related: In case you didn't know, Taylor wrote this song about Jake Gyllenhaal. They had about a 3 month romance and this song is about it ending. This song made me feel something so deeply from the first time hearing it. My romance with Mr. Geographically Undesirable was a little longer than theirs and ended very recently. The more I heard the song, the more I related. This song was on repeat in my car for about a week and a half. I still listen to it at least once a day. Every line I listed pierces my heart because it talks about everything that I went through. The memories of times together, the reasons why they ended the way they did, the brutal honesty in the words spoken and knowing that what we had was rare. And I am ok, but I am not fine at all. Truer words have never been spoken.

Song: Red

Favorite line(s):
"Faster than the wind, passionate as sin ending so suddenly
Loving him is like trying to change your mind once you're already flying through the free fall"

"Losing him was blue like I'd never known
Missing him was dark grey all alone
Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met
But loving him was red"

"Touching him was like realizing all you ever wanted was right there in front of you
Memorizing him was as easy as knowing all the words to your old favorite song"

"Regretting him was like wishing you never found out that love could be that strong"

"Remembering him comes in flashbacks and echoes
Tell myself it's time now, gotta let go
But moving on from him is impossible
When I still see it all in my head
Burning red"

Who it reminds me of: Mr. Geographically Undesirable

How I related: I am a visual learner so relating to this song was easy when Taylor put colors to her feelings. This song is incredibly descriptive and each line makes it easy to think of somebody that affected you in that way. My relationship with Mr. Geographically Undesirable began as a friendship and then took off quickly and ended abruptly. I never saw any of it coming. Seriously never thought it would begin and was taken aback when it ended. 'Faster than the wind, passionate as sin ending so suddenly.' She took the words right out of my mouth.

Song: Sad Beautiful Tragic

Favorite line(s):
"Words, how little they mean when you're a little too late"

"We both wake in lonely beds different cities
And time is taking its sweet time erasing you"

"Distance, timing, breakdown, fighting
Silence, this train runs off its tracks
Kiss me, try to fix it, could you just try to listen?
Hang up, give up, for the life of us we can't get back"

Who it reminds me of: Mr. Geographically Undesirable

How I related: This song is truly haunting. The melody, the softness and the emotion is emanating with each note. I said that I was taken aback by the ending of my relationship with Mr. Geographically Undesirable and it didn't end in a way that was conventional. Each line listed (minus the fighting. We didn't fight) tells the story of our breakdown. It still makes me sad. Timing really is everything. It is telling. I know that timing was a reason in our relationship ending and it is really taking awhile to "get over" him.

Song: I Almost Do

Favorite line(s):
"And I just want to tell you
It takes everything in me not to call you
And I wish I could run to you
And I hope you know that every time I don't
I almost do"

"I bet it never ever occurred to you that I can't say hello to you
And risk another goodbye"

"Oh we made quite a mess, babe
It's probably better off this way"

Who it reminds me of: Mr. Geographically Undesirable

How I related: I hope I am not the only one who has to talk herself out of texting/calling/reaching out to someone after it has ended. I generally have to do this daily. I am always so proud of myself when I don't because I almost do. A lot. I still wake up at the time I would receive my good morning text and look at my phone expecting to see it. I still reach for my phone to share something important and then call my friend or my mom instead. My heart still hasn't caught up with my head.  



Honorable Mention: Come Back... Be Here
There are so many good lines in this song. I love how it talks about that false sense of "knowing" someone, not wanting to "need" them in that way, and wanting to be apart of their life. 

And that my friends, is the soundtrack to my most recent relationship. It was easy to write this because it is helping me heal. I am obviously still dealing with this, growing and learning from it.

I can only imagine what my next adventures will entail.

And what music will resonate then. Hopefully my next soundtrack isn't full of roller coaster ride emotions, the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. I am hoping it is a CD full of sappy love songs. Haha.

If you want to catch up on past Flirty Thirty posts and/or read why I decided to write about this subject, you can.
 Just Click Here

With any series or post that I write I hope that you get at least one thing from it. I want this series to be a platform that helps us grow and learn from one another, so share any thoughts or feelings that you have! Comment, Tweet or Email me. I love hearing from you!